Alright, I admit that it has been a while since I have written. No wait, it's called "blogging", isn't it? I suppose that I need to modernize myself a bit and come to terms with the twenty-first century. Kianni is over at her BFF's house; she's been there since New Year's Eve. Her friends dad and Kianni are New Year's Eve babies, so they apparently know how to "party".
So I find myself here at home, with the two dogs (yes, two, but that is another blog) and a stuffy nose, congested chest and a mild headache. I took a nice, hot shower, got in my jammies, and made myself a nice, hot cup of chai tea, have a "Tudors" marathon on, and my laptop out. So I figured that I should write a bit, I haven't in quite a while.
Lots has changed for me in the past few years. The year 2014 was not a great year for me. I'm sure that a few of you know what "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" concocted that year. To make a long story short, Naissa and Jayden now live in Colorado with HWSNBN, who is divorced for the second time, and Kianni and I are still here in Western Mass. I started work at Baystate Medical Center, at Baystate Reference Labs in the Microbiology department. Many of you know how much I love bacteria. Yes, I know. Don't say it. I am so happy to be back in a lab where I belong. Right now just part-time, but I pick up hours when I can. Being a single mom working second shift is tough enough. But I so love what I do and know that it helps doctors help patients. I guess it runs in the family blood; I found out my grandfather was a pathologist before WWII. So I'm back in the lab, doing what I do best and what I love so much.
I guess that I have just been stuck in a rut for so long that I don't know how to get out. Yes, I do have a little bit of a social life, mostly through the Trauma Mama's and Western Mass MomProm. And Camp Mechuwana in the summer time. I can't wait for that to happen again. The third week in July can't get her soon enough for me! But back to what I was babbling about before. Ah yes, not much of a social life. I know that considering the circumstatnces that I have I shouldn't keep my fingers crossed to tightly for things to go the way I want. I need change, but in some ways I am afraid to welcome change. I desire instability, but yearn for what I went through before. I am afraid to love again.
I so greatly admire my parents. This March will mark their 44th wedding anniversary. When they got married my dad was a salesman for Sears and my mom was a secretary. When my mom was pregnant with my little brother, dad answered his calling and went into the ministry. I grew up a PK (Pastors Kid) and turned out okay, moving all over the state of Maine while growing up. They stuck together through thick and thin and there are things that they went through that I know about and things that I don't know and don't want to know that they endured. It is now that I so admire how they stuck together while I grew up, in such a simple way. I really grew up once I got to college and then upon graduation and passing my boards started working at Baystate. Then I really grew up, once I had the job, got my own apartment, a new car, the whole kit and caboodle.
But 44 years. That's a lot. I was married for a whopping 13 years. Thirteen, bad luck. I admit, that having the three Younglings was a bit of a strain. But isn't having children a thing that stresses and challenges every marriage? Yes, I admit that our three were a bit overwhelming. But there were many roads that were not taken during that time. And that's what I think broke it. Well, there were several things that aided in the downplay of that marriage. And that's yet another blog.
I suppose that I have babbled enough for one night. I really think that I need to do this more often. I know that I need to do this more often. I hope that doing this really helps empty out some space in my head. It is rather full up there. Even though part of it is missing. I wish I could see what is filling up that once empty spot and cleanse it once more.
But more on that. Later.
No comments:
Post a Comment